WOMEN COME FIRST

I attended the First Women Awards this evening, not I am disappointed to admit as one of the nominees, all of whom are extremely focused and inspirational, but as a supporter of friend and nominee Gina Miller who has worked extremely hard to bring the 'true and fair' campaign to the fore, ironically at a time when the City is showing itself to be neither. At the entrance two half naked girls twirled long pieces of red ribbon which I thought an unusual way to introduce women breaking the glass ceiling and business and commerce only to realise they were promoting the bar 'swag' or was it  or shag - I can't be sure - on either side of the entrance to the Connaught Rooms.   Anyway I think they were.   The confusion continued as I entered the main room and a woman politely tapped me on the shoulder.  "If this happened to me I would want someone to tell me," she said meaningfully looking into my eyes, pausing perhaps for me to finish the sentence for her.  Perhaps this was some sort of First Woman initiation I thought.   If it was I was failing.  "We can see your knickers." she said as if it were some sort of female Masonic code.    Thank you I said marching quickly to the ladies and making sure I looked knickerless which in the circumstances might have been more appropriate.

The man who introduced the proceedings said it was wonderful to be in a room of 75% women, so much more fun, so much more like a party.   Oh dear.    Shere Hite, who won the overall award, the internationally recognized expert in the field of psychosexual behaviour spoke hauntingly about her work and life admitting she had enabled women all over the world (and now in China) to realize and be comfortable in the knowledge that most women only come with clitoral stimulation.  Those two words hummed around the room for quite some time.   How could clitoral stimulation be bettered? The man who introduced the next award admitted he couldn't. Bless.    Every word of her speech was like a blistering bruise against a glass ceiling she had knocked against all her life so that others could follow without the criticism she had had to take.

Nothing really beat the big opener, although other high lights included one nominee being described as 'Queen of Drilling' which only our table thought was hilarious but perhaps we were still in clitoris mode.  And then there was the minister, Chloe Smith who presented the award to best First Woman in Finance (which Gina was up for).   She was allegedly demolished by Paxman on Newsnight a few nights ago (although I've just watched it and I just think she had a cough, was thirsty and was briefed by Osborne to not answer Paxman's questions which she did. They all do, just she didn't do it eloquently and has absolutely no charisma. She would probably procrastinate if you asked her what the time was).      This audience were gentler. She said very little and left, something that wasn't lost on host Clare Balding who thanked her and then said 'we'll leave it at that then." .   Theresa May, Home Secretary smiled and made a joke about specsavers but did little to motivate, inspire a nod or smile after that.

Each nominee was announced like a beauty Queen, which was odd and inappropriate.   Of all the speeches of the night that hit the right tone, Clare Balding possibly made the best mentioning author Nora Ephron who died of cancer this week. Ephron said women should be the heroine in their life, not the victim and make things happen in their life, not let things happen to them.    And that women should be trouble in life and if they haven't caused trouble by the time they're forty, they haven't lived their life right. I like that.