Sunday 8 December 2019

JERSEY GIRL

I broke my phone. As in I actively, with intent, broke my phone. Never one to do things by halves, in a fit of hormonal rage (yoga is not working), as ten consecutive very bad things had happened in a few days,  I smashed the mobile to the floor and then picked it up, realising the screen wasn't broken so I did it again until it was. Having paid out £65 and waited over a week to get back online again, I felt a menopausal break was needed and as The Atlantic Hotel in Jersey is listed as one of the three main hotel staycation breaks, I booked myself in for a couple of days of R and R.

   So early one Friday morning, train to Gatwick and half an hour to fifty minutes flight, depending on the wind, I found myself at Jersey airport. Wanting to buy all the anti-wrinkle creams and eyelash serums in the duty free book (I've reached that age), I arrived without any (they had run out - a lot my age obviously on the same flight), and asked directions as no taxis were available. I realised as I stepped off the plane, I have never visited Jersey, although I have Guernsey which, I remember was rather chippy about its big sister.

   Take the 22 bus to the Atlantic (not as I did, and took the advice of a lady who visits her son there and said I should get a bus to St Helier and then take the 22 from there).  It should take about ten minutes to reach the hotel. It took me over an hour.  Thank goodness my phone was still broken as I would have broken it again.  But it gave me an opportunity to see St Helier and also the narrow, charming roads along it. 

   Jersey is a tax haven for those who wish to 'avoid' rather 'evade' although this has always seemed semantic.  There was a huge glass, mirrored and steel Waitrose on one roundabout, which looked like the headquarters of a global bank, perhaps making some sort of social statement, looking decidedly incongruous amongst the housing - then we turned left down another narrow road, but this time there was the Atlantic Ocean to the right, appearing dramatically in between a series of huge mansions with their oversized lions and marbled pillars, and groomed gardens, palm trees and pampas grasses. 

   I couldn't smell the seaweed or the seaside but I could smell the salt in the air. A few more twists and turns past smaller seaside villas with names like Avoca and Butterweed, and franglais sounding street names -  half French half English - reminding me how close we are to the French coast, we arrived at the first harbour with small boats, none of them fishing, and no kiss me quick activities.  All very quietly buzzing, silver light bouncing off the boat hulls, in the late November afternoon. Then towards St Helier.  
   
Jersey, famous for its fragrant potatoes, its Durrell Zoo, its long eye-lashed cow (very jealous), is enchanting even in, and I would probably guess at, especially in, the winter months.  Fewer tourists, fewer cars, and more dramatic thanks to the Atlantic.  The hotel is allegedly one of the best in the UK for views of ocean storms.  It's difficult not to get stirred.

 Yes, the sky scraping banking headquarters, which has made a mini square mile of the shoreline capital of St Helier, casts a grubby shadow over what is otherwise an incredibly beautiful island, but as the chef at the Atlantic, the multi-award winning Will Holland told me as we walked one morning scavaging for seaweed to add to his phenomenal menu, "the real wealth of Jersey is the 45 mile coastline walk."    
   
The Atlantic Hotel is four star, but has the service and style of a five star hotel. Boutique in size, staff are efficient and elegant, the hotel, erect on a hill looking out over towards the ocean and lighthouse, makes clever use of space and light, feeling more like a stylish lighthouse on the inside. There's even a large pond which is half in half out of the reception area, with loads of gold fish and two very large koi karp which reminded me of the mystic and eccentric animals in the Studio Gibli enchanted film, Spirited Away. Their huge mouths coming to the surface as you walk by as if to whisper words of wisdom like 'don't eat the seabass'. One looks eerily like Michael Mcintyre.  
   
Talking of spirits, Paul 'Champagne' (not his real name just his bar-stage one), is the bar manager who makes up cocktails to compliment the pre and post, and sometimes during supper menus.  He did so while I was there, with a local gin, of which there are many. (I counted seven on their shelves alone, which allegedly originate from Jersey).  
   
Originally from Romania, Paul worked in London and Hambleton Hall but chose Jersey because of the Atlantic but also he is a keen photographer and 'there is so much to photograph in Jersey which is unique and exceptional' I grabbed at the chance'.   He is one of the many 'captain my captain' types at the Atlantic who are characters and have the substance to match.  Make time to chat to him pre and post supper.  He's very adept at mixing and inventing cocktails on the spot. 
     
The chef Will Holland, who has appeared and won the Great British Menu Challenge, produces food which is seasonal and local and clever, without being pretentious. I had seabass, although I'm attempting to go vegan (they have an excellent vegan menu), but it was worth it.  It was wonderful as was the service.  Faultless. There is an extensive wine list and excellent sommelier pairings. 
   
Will took me for a ten minute drive to the nearest beach to the hotel, where we picked some 'salty fingers', sea perselin and sea spinach, which he may or may not have used in the menu that evening. Slim and fit, he doesn't look like a chef, but has that obsessive passion which comes across in the way he talks about food, ingredients and his 'team' in the kitchen, which he says he sees a lot more of than his wife and three year old daughter. 'My team followed me here when I moved to the hotel, which is phenomenal.  Its good having a team who follow you wherever you go. It means there's a natural synergy which I feel makes creativity that much easier. And it’s an interesting, awesome place Jersey.  It doesn't seem like an island. It’s not small minded.  Perhaps having the ocean in front of us helps.'  We talked veganism 'It will be a fad', and nutrition 'It's a lifestyle not a diet.', although he admires Tom Kerridge and what he describes as a basically keto diet (no carbs and sugar and loads of protein and fat).  'Although I do eat carbs. They are petrol in the car.'
   
As for cars, although you can hire a car, Jersey is a walking island. Walk everywhere. There are no buses that go around the island - you need to hop off and on about three - but it is a wonderful place to coastal walk. So don't hire and with all that local gin, wonderful local wine, you'll probably need to go public transport or walk anyway.  On the longest day of the year hundreds come here to walk around the 45 miles, starting at dawn, some ending at dusk, to circumnavigate.   I managed five hours, but saw incredible wildlife.  It’s the sort of place to make you want to get a book and find out about birds. And Will said I could eat all the seaweed as long as it hasn't been out of the sea too long. 'Just follow the tide out.'  I also waited to clean it when back in my hotel room just in case some dogs had got there first. 
    
The hotel has a small gym, heated indoor and outdoor pool and a sauna for one (at a squeeze two) and a small gym where you can do yoga if you so wish, or a treadmill. The rooms are stylish, spacious, well thought out and the views of the Atlantic Ocean are exceptional. Surrounded by parklands and golf course, it’s easy to feel you could just stay and chill indoors, but whatever the weather, go outside and walk.     
   
The very clean beach (no litter - cleaned daily), with its surfers, dog walkers, horse riders and runners, is buzzing even on quiet days. There are even some early morning yogis tree posing.  Walking it will take you five to four hours to walk along the bay and back from the hotel.  For lunch or a snack stop off at La Braye (looks formica restaurant but excellent food with prices to match).  For something lighter, go to the Hideaway, a small box of a place for meat and vege burgers.  Excellent value and variety.  All the surfers I spoke to recommended it.  Faulkners Fisheries is at the other end of the bay, and proudly shows off a photo of the owner Sean with HRH Prince Charles and Camilla. But at £3 a pot for prawns in a one use plastic container, I personally preferred the Hideaway.  But the walk and view is priceless. If you can't walk back - take the No 22 bus back.  
    
Out of the hotel if you turn left, head towards Corbiere Point and the Corbiere lighthouse at low tide. Make your way through scrub and rugged wilderness which is more Poldark than Berjerac (Cornwall thing going on again). More animal magic came in the form of walking inches away from sleeping rabbits who knew I was there but didn't move.  One opened an eye, looked at me, then closed it again.  I eyeballed a red squirrel perching half way up a tree, expecting it to say 'when are you going to take the selfie' any moment.  It didn't and I didn't (mobile broken) but still very Spirited Away.  
   
I walked occasionally along the road, dodging another type of animal - the mamils (middle aged men in lycra) on their bikes, realising they could have been in their lycra the day before, just on their surf boards.  The MAMILS surf on Saturdays, cycle on Sundays here. 
   
Locals will talk to you about the 'Jersey way' as to their lifestyle, and they don't talk Brexit, although from the sound of it, what we should be asking for is the 'Jersey way' of Brexit, not the Canada one, but I digress. They pick and choose which laws they want to follow. 'We are part of Great Britain, not the United Kingdom.'   
   
Breakfast at the hotel is excellent. There's things like kippers and smoked haddock which I haven't seen on a menu for ages as well as the more traditional fayre.  They have buffet and full English (and vegan/vegetarian) if you wish, and locals out of season get a discount to eat and stay there, so you will meet a lot of locals if you go out of season too.  Talk to them.  You will quickly find out who are year round locals and who just stay for the requisite 30 days. 
    
I recommend visiting the Atlantic before it gets its Michelin Star because I am sure it will soon.  It is excellent value for a long weekend or midweek break and wonderful if you like those dramatic coastal walks.   I for one was completely Spirited Away by the Atlantic, its staff, and its rugged and enchanted coast. And don't forget to talk to the animals. Just not the two wheeled ones in lycra.

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