Sunday 12 October 2014

I HAVE BECOME CAT WOMAN...

No, not the black latex covered, masked minx with a whip, Michelle Pheiffer look-a-like although I have been known to wear a fluffy tail for fancy dress, party optional.    I am now looking after two cats. for a friend who is going to India. Its not forever (we have put a time limit on it) but it is educational.
I love animals, as in I will more likely cry at an animal being treated unkindly or dying in a film than I will a human being, unless of course that human being is very very special.  And I'm more likely to cry about them not fulfilling their potential or suffering unrequited love than death which is much more final and stops the pain, for them anyway.
As for pets, my father had a cat called Smokey that behaved more like a dog.   I liked him but I think my grandfather who lived with us treated him unkindly but then again it could have been my mother who did that, as she was the one who told me this, and she didn't particularly like my grandfather.
A part from Smokey, we didn't have pets. I had a hamster which died in his sleep, although my best frenemy, Rosemary, told me at Sunday School that I had buried the thing alive as they hibernate. I went  home crying to be told by my dad that the hamster had indeed died, that no, I wasn't able to dig it up just to check, and that Rosemary was a spiteful arsehole - although he didn't say the arsehole bit - just intimated at it.
Tom has had four gerbils - the first two were wonderful creatures, brothers and loving towards each other and everyone who handled them. The second two were not wonderful creatures, one was nervous as hell, the other one I'm sure was possessed.  I should have called it Damien.   The thing escaped from the cage and went wild for several months, darting about. Even at my fiftieth party I had to explained to bemused guests that the thing darting about the floor wasn't a rat/mouse but Damien.  He nibbled at the sofas, shitty little thing, but he escaped, and I hope he's somewhere safe and happy now.  Sort of.
I've had two tortoises for twelve years, who look like a married couple - miserable but contented in their misery because its safe.   They move slowly but in the summer with stealth, as long as there's a dandelion leaf going.
Bruno the street cat visits us on a regular basis as he does everyone, looking into their eyes and getting fed and stroked.  He is a charming rake of a cat, but he goes and doesn't shit in your house, which is more you can say for the human variety.
Back to the two cats.    I have to keep them in for three weeks, or they find their way home. One probably would, but the other is special needs - their owner says that, that's not me, but I agree with her. The cat doesn't know who or what he is (or if he is indeed a he) - her words not mine.  Very fluffy, very 'big boned' and darts off at any direction, he's been up the chimney three times.   I thought he had escaped but no, he hadn't.  He meowed loudly at me at five in the morning by my bed and I told the owner he was still OK after, poor girl, she had cried a bucket and I had felt guilty for a day.  So I have two cats.
I prefer people to cats. Or animals for that matter.  Given the choice, I'm not sure I would choose to live with either.  Tom I love unconditionally but I have never met a man worthy of the same.  Having just been to see Gone Girl, which reminded me of my ex husband - him having the qualities of both the woman and the man, I think you compromise when you have pets as you do when you have a relationship.    You're cleaning up after them, in return for some affection. Although I'm not sure we should expect even that.   At least with humans you get some conversation, although again, even that may not be very good and if, like animals, they are 'on send', its not two way.    I suppose animals can't be emotionally abusive, but the cats wake up at five am meowing the house down to be fed, so I suppose thats a sort of torture, but at least it means I'm starting work early.  I would be happy to get up for Tom when he was a baby every two/three hours but only because he was my son.
Perhaps that's why some people prefer living with animals as they've had very bad conversation, because I can't really see how and why living with a pet is better to living with a person. They do not love you unconditionally.  Cats definitely don't and dogs may love you, but unless you feed them they die or eat you, which is a bit of a bore.  Probably why I stick to tortoises.

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