poetry in emotion

I had a stinking argument with my ex last night.   For the first time ever I put the phone down and wished he would actually choke on his money.   But then some time ago I wrote this poem below.   And although in the bright light of day I still wish he would choke on his money, I realise that once upon a time.....  

WEDDING VIDEO

 

Faded smiles of a sunshine day

In Autumn’s flush when colours already begin to smudge

Ghosts dance around shadows in the room

Their spirits bright despite the crackle of time

The shining young so full of hope and denial           

Their egos full

Morning suit affectation of pot bellied bankers

Guffawing the last bubbles of nonsense

First wives about to give birth to their first home truth

And I watch myself

The girl in white, so open and stupid

Who couldn’t and wouldn’t even glance at her groom

as she walked down the aisle

and I want to shake her and hold her tight

And tell her to love the man she just married with all her heart

and try harder to be

interested and interesting

even when he is deathly dull

and she is tired and bored

And to compromise but never

Compromise herself.

She got those two mixed up

And I want to tell him to be less angry

and be less afraid and to be stronger.

And that she truly loved him but not herself

The singer and organist playing portentous

hitting the right notes at the wrong time

As did the bride and groom

We should have known.

and I hush the sound and fast forward through the dull bits

as we would do in life if we could

and wonder if I would rewind any moment of my life

and my marriage now it is merely a crackling faded memory

how I would change an old wedding video

My twelve year old watches his mum and dad now

separated

but magically reuniting on screen with smiles

now knowing it won’t last unless in some wiser parallel universe it does

Although the spark of happy ever after sits cuddling by me now reminding me

It was so worth it.